i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
