my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize