guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Randomize
