I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
