Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
