just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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