Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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