Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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