dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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