imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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