My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the day after is always just damage control
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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