i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
