I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
