The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
