dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
