he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
