In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
