In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
