Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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