Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
