so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
