??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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