im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
