Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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