omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
