I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
