i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
