We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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