So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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