So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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