i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
