Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
