Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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