..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize