I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
