glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
