life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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