at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
