How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
