I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
