Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
