I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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