I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
