Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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