how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
