Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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