..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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