Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just puked most of my soul out..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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