I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
