I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
