we have officially lost it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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