Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
