Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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