Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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