You just made me feel so damn special
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
