i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
