Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
