She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
