I am puke
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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