At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
one might say we're banned from that church
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize