I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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