I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
