i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
