You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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