What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
