soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
