I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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