this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
