I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
