2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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