She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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