i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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