Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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