he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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