is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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