i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
did i walk over a car last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
