Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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