My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
