Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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