I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it was like eating out sand paper
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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