She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
