Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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