if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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