this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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