none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
