do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
