At least make sure they are 18
Why
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
