My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Congratulations! We have a period
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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